Excuse me

I’ve been way too quiet. Not that any of you have been pounding on my door looking for updates, I mean, I’m not sure I actually have any readers. However just in case one should exist, I should not keep you waiting for so long! I do have an excuse though and not like the fat kid claiming to have a thyroid disorder kind of excuse either, this one is 100% valid. You see, I have a thyroid disorder. I’m serious. Actually, I don’t have a thyroid anymore because it was more “cancer” than “disorder”. I know you’re sitting there wondering how my thyroid excuse is different than the fat kid excuse but it is totally different. First of all, I’m not making excuses for being fat – I’m actually not fat. I’m making excuses for being far too exhausted to blog. Once I got all energetic enough to start doing stuff again, I went for stuff that paid the bills like my job and then I added in things like actually paying the bills so blogging ended up near the bottom of the list. So, as you can see: totally excusable.

Plus, during this whole cancer fiasco, I had no Mr. insert-catchy-nickname-here to blog about. Mr. Damn was still all stuck up on his high horse and too busy being mad at me still to bother with worrying that I might have a terminal disease (ok, so thyroid cancer is pretty curable but still…it is cancer and he did know). So, the rose-colored glasses with which I gazed upon Mr. Damn are effectively shattered. In fact, they were all nice and broken and then when I stumbled upon a facebook picture of someone he assured me wasn’t his girlfriend kissing him that pretty much knocked that rose glass right out of the frame. Color him not-rose; color me stupid. I had suspected, but let’s all face it without our rose-colored glasses: I didn’t really want to know so I chose to believe what I wanted. Unfortunately picking your own truth only makes you stupider, not your truth truer.

However, I’m okay. My thyroid is gone and with the doses of synthroid they’re giving me, I have an excuse to eat like I’m carrying octuplets and still can fit into my skinny jeans. That alone is worth trading in rose-colored glasses. Just to clarify, I’m not carrying octuplets or anyone’s spawn for that matter, I’m just eating enough to support a small solar system.

But most importantly…ok, second-most-importantly since that cancer thing was kind of a big deal, I have someone new to blog about. I’m still working on the nickname though. You see, I really like him and I hope it sticks so I have to be very careful about finding the correct “name” for him…after all, there’s always the chance he could find this. He does work in IT and he does know I have an anonymous blog somewhere. He must never ever be left alone with my computer.

More to follow, stay tuned.